


caught in your tragical wonderland

by merryghoul



Category: Mr. Robot (TV)
Genre: Drunk Sex, F/F, Femslash Festivus, Future Fic, Hook-Up, Misses Clause Challenge, Yuleporn, Yuletide Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-16 16:11:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16957233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merryghoul/pseuds/merryghoul
Summary: In which Dominque tries to make Alexa her subsitute lover and tries to hook up with a random girl for a random fling, after her fight with Darlene.  (It doesn’t work.)





	caught in your tragical wonderland

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pique](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pique/gifts).



> Story title is a lyric from XTC’s “Wonderland.”

The first thing Dom says as she’s entering her apartment is “Alexa, give me the daily Five/Nine.” 

“Thefts are still occurring in the Upper East Side,” Alexa says. “There have also been thefts reported in Midtown. Officials advise to stay away from both of these areas at this time. Curfew is still in effect.”

After Alexa gives Dom the daily Five/Nine, Dom realizes she’s alone again. She has been alone for a while. Ever since she sneaked out of that restaurant and turned down that marriage proposal, actually. The woman she was dating was a nice person. Always did little things for her, always respected her. But being with this woman for the rest of her life felt wrong to Dom. She didn’t know why it felt wrong; it just did. 

Of course she was surrounded around people at the FBI. But she was never close to them. She does regret not getting to know Santiago before his death. Maybe she could’ve left the FBI before Irving made her the Dark Army’s FBI mole. Maybe she could’ve laid low somewhere outside of the metro area. What she would’ve done if she could’ve left the FBI, she doesn’t know. Go back to school and be a lawyer again, to go into something safe and boring in the private sector, like corporate law? Work as a policewoman or a detective or something? If anything, she’d still feel like she had a sense of pride in what she was doing, instead of what she was now forced to do. Communicating with Irving on a daily basis made her skin crawl. 

Dom tried to make Alexa her substitute lover. But the truth was a personal assistant programmed into a smart speaker couldn’t love Dom the way an actual human being could. She could ask Alexa for random quotes or ask Alexa if she had a boyfriend, but that was nothing like talking to an actual human being. So instead of asking Alexa “what does the fox say” to see if she’s gotten all of Alexa’s answers to that question, Dom says “Alexa, play music by John Prine” as she sits on her bed. 

“Shuffling songs by John Prine,” Alexa says. 

Shuffle is supposed to be random, but the song Alexa chooses to play first hits Dom in the gut. The song is “I Love You So Much It Hurts,” from his 1995 album _Lost Dogs and Mixed Blessings._ Dom realizes Prine was a bad choice to ask Alexa to play, because all Dom can see in her head is the night she spent with Darlene before Darlene tried to steal her FBI badge. Before Prine can sing “I love you so much it hurts me,” Dom says “Alexa, next.”

Alexa plays John Prine’s version of “Silver Bells” from his 1994 Christmas album _A John Prine Christmas._ It’s not Christmas at all, but she’ll take that instead of something that reminds her of a failed potential relationship. 

Dom flops on the bed. She doesn’t feel like protesting the John Prine songs Alexa plays to her. After “Silver Bells,” there’s a collection of songs Prine did in the 70s, along with a few songs from the 80s. She tries to fight to not look at her phone, but she can’t help herself. She goes through her contacts and spots a blocked number. It’s Darlene’s number. Dom gave Darlene her number while Darlene lived in that safe house. Who knew the guy she was monitoring Darlene with was just as bad as Elliot from time to time? Darlene hasn’t stopped trying to apologize since the fallout at Irving’s barn. Darlene has tried to call and text her from time to time. Dom was still angry at Darlene; she blocked Darlene’s number on her phone. If she had to see Darlene and it had to pertain to something involving the Dark Army, she’d deal with it when the time came. 

Then again, every relationship Dom has been in has always ended in disaster, and Dom felt it was mostly on her end. There was the aforementioned walking out on the woman who proposed to her. Then there were those other times where she’d say something stupid, or do something stupid, and by the end of the night she was back in her apartment telling Alexa to play sad songs for her while she shifted on her bed. If Dom actually committed to a relationship, like, for instance, with the woman who proposed to her, she’d be in some sort of tony house somewhere in Stamford, Connecticut right now. She’d be working at, say, Tom, Dick, & Harry’s law firm, maybe alongside her ex, and they’d have a couple of kids and a medium-sized dog. 

Dom wants to unblock Darlene. She still hates Darlene; no way are they getting back together. But Darlene had a good eye for hot women. Yes, the last time they did this Dom and Darlene ended up hooking up at the bar instead of finding a date for Dom. But maybe Darlene could find someone that could be the one person Dom could stay in a relationship with. 

Dom unblocks Darlene on her phone. She tries calling her, but she gets an error message and a “We’re sorry” message on the other end from Darlene’s wireless provider. She texts a message: I’m sorry I haven’t talked to you in a while. The text is confirmed to be sent to Darlene, but Dom gets no response from her after a few minutes. 

Dom decides trying to pretend like she’s still into Darlene isn’t going to get her out of her apartment and away from Alexa. Dom checks the time. She still has a few hours before curfew. If she could get dressed now, she can go to the bar herself and make questionable judgments about the women there alone.

 

Dom is doing a bad job of making questionable judgments about women at the bar. She hasn’t found anyone yet. Dom is tipsy enough to feel as if her head is spinning a bit from the alcohol she’s had. And, under the influence of alcohol, everyone looks the same to Dom, even all the men.

The bartender in front of Dom looks, then points at Dom. “Um...” The bartender wags her finger. “Miss...”

“DiPierro.”

“DiPerro. This shit was so much easier when we could use credit cards. This is your second drink tonight.”

“Yeah?”

“I might have to cut you off.”

“Why?”

“You’ve had two drinks and you look out of it. And it appears you don’t have a designated driver. I don’t care if we’re using cash and E-Coin. You ask for another drink, I’m taking your phone and requesting a Lyft driver.”

“Lyft’s still operating?”

The bartender shrugs. “I guess they take E-Coin too.” She moves on to another person who has just sat down at the bar.

Wait. There is one person Dom knows at the bar, and she’s leaning against one of the walls. She’d know her hair anywhere. Heart-shaped sunglasses, too, if she was wearing them. Darlene. Dom’s not sure if it’s the alcohol or not, but Darlene seems to have a glow around her, like Darlene had come down from heaven seeking someone to come up with her. Did Darlene get Dom’s message? Did she just end up here? And then Dom wonders if she actually isn’t that mad at Darlene at all. No, she convinces herself, Darlene’s a great wingwoman. She’ll help me find a date for tonight. 

Dom carefully gets up from her stool at the bar and makes her way to Darlene. She walks slowly, making sure one foot is in front of the other, making sure she’s not wobbling over a table or someone walking past her. When Dom gets to Darlene, Dom hesitates a moment before saying “Hi.”

“Hey,” Darlene says. “I got your text. I didn’t think you’d be here.”

“I didn’t think you’d be here either.” 

Dom takes in a sharp inhale. “I’m sorry I didn’t answer your calls and texts.”

“I get it. You’re still angry with the Dark Army. And with me.”

Dom nods. “I understand why you did what you did. It’s just that I thought I found someone I could trust in you, you know? And I felt I could get closer when you weren’t a suspect. When it wasn’t business for once.” 

“I tried to steal your badge because I thought I could recover E Corp’s data. And I didn’t want Elliot to handle it. I thought if he did it he might get creepy again and if he was busted by you or someone else he’d go back to jail.”

“There’s a part of you that still cares about him.”

“As much as I hate it, yes.” 

“You didn’t ruin my life, Darlene. My love life sucks. My love life has always sucked. It’s a long story. And we didn’t see the Dark Army coming. We saw them literally assassinating people. But we didn’t know how involved they were with everything.” 

“So are we friends again?”

“I guess we are.” Dom’s not sure if she wants to believe what she said or not, whether she’s lying just to get laid or she’s starting to forgive Darlene. “You want a drink? It’s on me.” 

“Cool.”

“Just don’t look really drunk or the bartender will kick us both out.”

Dom takes Darlene’s hand and leads her to the bar. Darlene gets that drink that’s placed on Dom’s tab. They start looking at the women in the room. Dom passes up on these girls in succession: one looks too promiscuous, one has hair Dom doesn’t like only because of its color, one’s too short, one looks like she’s attached to a man who might be her spouse or lover. 

“I knew this wouldn’t work again,” Darlene says. “You’ve rejected everyone in the bar. And you know you can’t pick up the bartender.”

“I know. I’ve had too much.”

“No. She’s working, Dom. She’s not here for a hookup.” 

A song ends on the bar’s stereo system and fades into a new song.

“What the hell is this?” Dom says. “Sounds like someone’s dying cat.”

“It’s some Ministry of Sound Chillout Sessions album. Bet the bartenders went to a warez site and downloaded every compilation.”

“Warez site? Like Amazon?”

“No, it’s ‘warez’ with a Z. Sites where you can illegally download things. Books, music, TV shows, whatever. It’s like torrents, but without actually using torrents.”

“Oh.”

Dom turns to Darlene. It’s at that exact moment where it appears that, to Dom, Darlene is the most beautiful woman in the room. Dom thinks it’s the alcohol, but she’s getting a warm feeling in her heart looking at Darlene. She thinks back about that night. She realizes the circumstances now aren’t what they were back then. Darlene isn’t trying to save anyone. There’s no point for Darlene to ask about her gun and FBI pass. Other than that, she liked that night. “I want to take you home.”

“Why? You know the last time didn’t end well.”

“I need someone tonight. I don’t like any of these girls.”

“You’ve never asked them out.”

“So?”

Darlene laughs. Dom assumes Darlene’s about as high as she is at this moment. “So you tried to contact me tonight for a booty call.”

“That wasn’t my intention, not when I came here.”

Darlene shakes her head. “I don’t have anywhere to go tonight. No one’s going to miss me if I'm at your place at curfew.”

 

Dom and Darlene collectively decide to get a Lyft car. Despite the bartender’s threats, they could’ve always taken public transportation. It was much cheaper than the Lyft car. But if they did, they wouldn’t have a lot of time to make out before they arrived at Dom’s apartment. And Lyft had a reputation of arriving later than the yellow taxis to certain destinations in New York City. That meant even more time to make out. 

Dom and Darlene’s Lyft car arrives in front of the bar as they’re both kissing. Dom wants to control herself—she’s in public, after all, and even if it’s dark outside, this is New York City. She’s going to have people stand at her. Maybe they’re prudes. Maybe they’re homophobes. Maybe they’re longing for someone to have sex with in the moment the way Dom is right now with Darlene. Dom knows it looks like she’s trying to eat off Darlene’s face to outsiders, but she doesn’t care.

Dom stops when the Lyft car has stopped. She opens the door and tells the driver the street her apartment is on. Then she returns to kissing Darlene. 

The kiss, the fact they haven’t put on their seat belts when they really should, the groping in the back seat: the Lyft driver knows what’s going on between Dom and Darlene before Dom pushes Darlene against the seat of the car. The driver pulls up Spotify in his car and goes through his saved playlists. He starts playing a playlist made up of R&B songs from the 1990s. The songs shuffle as Dom kisses Darlene’s neck, frustrated that she can’t do anything else in a car she knows that if she does do something illicit, she’s forcing them to get out of the city to attempt to sanitize the seats of the cars. The shuffling stops when Dom and Darlene arrive at Dom’s apartment.

 

Dom and Darlene kiss as they enter Dom’s apartment. Dom stops kissing Darlene to tell Alexa to play John Prine again. It’s the only think she can think of other than wanting to fuck Darlene.

Then Dom drops to her knees, just before the two of them can reach Dom’s bed. “You know we could’ve done this in the bar bathroom, right?” Darlene says as Dom unbuckles Darlene’s pants.

“That bar’s bathrooms are nasty.” Darlene’s pants are on the ground. Dom makes sure her underwear follows. “And you know the bartender hates me.”

“Whatever, dude. Glad you’re not acting like a Girl Scout right now.”

“I’m past my Girl Scout days now,” Dom says as she starts kissing around Darlene’s cunt. 

It hits Dom that she wants this so badly. Wants Darlene to submit to her, in a way. If Dom did pick up another girl at that bar, which, to be honest, it wouldn’t have happened, no matter her ambition to pick up anyone other than Darlene, it wouldn’t be the same. Dom would be on her knees and give the other girl head for around fifteen minutes before the other girl left to make curfew, or something, and Dom would be alone with Alexa again. But finding Darlene at the bar, that was different. Darlene’s now at Dom’s mercy. Every lick Dom makes forces Darlene to slowly lose control. And Dom is sick of Darlene’s control over her person. She’s sick of Darlene’s snappy remarks, sick of how, in the back of Dom’s mind, how Darlene still ruined her life. Sick of seeing Darlene as she was reacting to her actions—what a contradiction. It was nice to feel Darlene’s hands gripping Dom’s head, instinctively pulling it closer to her. Nice to hear Darlene moan instead of sarcastically dude-ing her all the time. 

Dom doesn’t want to stop burying her face in Darlene. But she has to stop; her jaw is tired and her tongue needs a rest. Her knees are sore as well, but she can ignore her knee pain. She looks up at Darlene and notices her panting and flushed face as she placed two of her fingers inside her. Dom smirks. This is exactly the type of agony Dom wants to see on Darlene’s face. Dom doesn’t want Darlene to come down. She wants her to come quick and come as hard as she can, as fast as possible. Dom’s intent is not a long love-making session. 

After a few minutes, Dom returns to Darlene’s cunt. She keeps the image of Darlene in agony as she goes to work again. Darlene pulls Dom closer to her, again, trying to keep her head still by gripping her face. Dom knows Darlene’s attempts to try to contain her are going to fail. 

It pleases Dom’s ears to hear Darlene coming to orgasm: some gasps, some moans, and “Fuck, dude.” Even if it’s sexual pleading, it’s nice to hear Darlene beg for mercy for once. And Dom isn’t upset when Darlene lets out this loud moan and pushes her head away from her cunt. 

But it’s not enough for Dom. She pushes Darlene on to her bed. “Can’t I have a break first?” Darlene says. “Didn’t you hear me? I just came.” 

“I heard you. Do you want a round two, or is this it?”

“Fuck yeah I want a round two. Just let me come down a little first, shit.”

Dom straddles her, just above her cunt. Dom wants Darlene naked for round two; she starts taking off her jacket. They roll around in Dom’s bed, taking off piece by piece of their clothing. Their clothes end up over Dom’s bedroom. Alexa is partially covered in Dom’s panties. 

“You ready?” Dom asks, and Darlene nods.

Dom opens Darlene’s legs and gets between them. Dom’s still angry at Darlene. Secretly she wants Darlene to do more than look up at her with her usually nonchalant face. Grab her hips. Grab her breasts. But Dom doesn’t intend for this meeting to be romantic. This night is all about releasing sexual tension. 

If Darlene isn’t willing to do anything, well, then Dom’s just going to focus on screwing up her stupid face again. She keeps going. Soon enough, Darlene loses that stupid nonchalant face, and she’s giving into Dom. Dom wasn’t expecting Darlene to grin when they were done. Dom doesn’t know how to react. She rolls off of Darlene and tells Alexa to stop playing music. When Alexa doesn’t stop playing, Dom has to literally get up, take her panties off of Alexa, and tell her to stop playing music.

Darlene’s tired. She doses off to sleep. Dom, on the other hand, stares up at the ceiling. The silence outside her apartment, and the noise made by the traffic outside, isn’t comforting her.

 

When Dom awakes, Darlene is already up. “Dude, that was amazing,” Darlene says. “But we need to talk.”

“We’re still naked.”

“We can still talk. We can’t get back together like this. Like, what am I doing? You saw my ex-boyfriend get killed. And I let you fuck me the first time because I wanted your badge.”

“So you’re saying it’s too early for you to get back in a relationship.”

“Yeah.”

“Fine. We’re not getting back together.”

Darlene stands straight up in Dom’s bed. “You know what’s your problem? You don’t know how to talk to girls. No—you don’t want to talk to girls.”

“What? I know how to talk to people.”

“You know how to interrogate people. And you know how to tell Alexa to play some music. There’s a difference.”

“Shuffling music,” Alexa says. The song Alexa played was XTC’s “Wonderland.”

“Alexa, stop,” Dom says.

“Wonderland” stops playing.

“What do you want me to say to women?” Dom asks. “What’s your favorite color?”

Darlene flops onto the bed again. “Just talk to them. Ask them about stuff. What they’re wearing. Why they’re at where they’re at. You know, small talk.”

“Like why’d you agree to go back to my apartment if you wanted a break from a relationship?”

Darlene throws her hands up in the air. “I don’t know. Sex is fun? But that was not what I meant by ‘small talk.’”

Dom moves back and forth in her bed. She groans. “Look, I shouldn’t have fallen for you after your ex died. And I thought I hated you. I tried to have hate sex.”

Darlene scoffs. “Didn’t feel like hate sex to me.”

“I said I tried. Because you know how fucked up my past relationships have been. Just—is there a way we can start over? Like, can we forget about your ex and how you tried to steal my badge? Can we do this with the Dark Army watching our movements? Can we make this work?”

“I don’t know. I mean, my intent was not to fall for you in the first place. I’m sorry I hurt you. I mean, it’s not enough to fix your life...”

“I chose this path. I should take responsibility for that. I was going to be caught up in Five/Nine in some way. I’m lucky I’m not dead now.”

Darlene’s hand flops around on the bed, as if she’s looking for something to hold on to. Dom senses what Darlene’s trying to do. Dom finds Darlene’s hand and grasps on to it. “Can we make this work?” Dom asks again.

“I’d like to try,” Darlene says. 

Dom catches Darlene smiling in the corner of her eye. At least Dom knows Darlene isn’t some sort of humorless robot that’s either hacking or on the run from something. 

“Do you have anywhere to go later?” Darlene asks.

“Work, but I have a few hours before I have to go.”

“Can we do that one more time? You’re good.”

Dom is shocked. She’s never had anyone say she’s good in bed. She tries to not express her shock through her face and hands, but Dom thinks her eyes are giving away her genuine shock. She takes a couple of breaths through her nose and clears her throat. “Do you mean it?”

“Yeah, I mean it.”

“Anything you have in mind?”

“Not yet. You can take the lead.”

“So can I ask you what you want to do as we’re going?”

“Yeah.”

“Can I roll on top of you, to kiss you?”

“That’s cool.”

“And Alexa can play something?”

“Yeah.”

“Alexa, play some love music,” Dom says to her Echo.

“Shuffling music,” Alexa says before playing The 1975’s “Menswear.”

Darlene laughs as Dom gets on top of her. “Isn’t this song on, like, everyone’s sex playlist?”

“You know I don’t know. What am I supposed to do, go to work and pull up everyone’s iTunes and Spotify accounts?”

Darlene laughs again. “No, don’t do that. But, like, their album literally has a song called ‘Sex’ but people want to fuck to ‘Menswear’ instead. It’s crazy.”

Dom leans into Darlene’s face and gives her a kiss. It is slow, filled with a touch of getting over some of her issues with Darlene and a touch of she really wanted to have a chance to be loved, and to be loved by Darlene. She kisses Darlene’s chin before moving on to her neck. “Is this okay?” Dom says as she’s leaning into Darlene’s neck. Darlene hums.

Okay, so hooking up with the woman who tried to exploit you for her own gain isn’t the ideal way to start a relationship. Having sex with her multiple times without a date isn’t ideal, either. But Dom can’t fight her attraction to Darlene, no matter how hard she tries. She’ll take Darlene over another night at the bar, coming up with excuses to stay single while having shots at the bar.


End file.
